Monday, January 24, 2011

A denomination for your belief

There are some things in life that are inexplicable, baffling and at times unexplainable. In this blog, I dedicate my words to that mysterious bond of friendship. The weird and wonderful connections one acquires when one meets another being with whom one has one or many things in common. Did you ever think there was a greater plan out there?

That perhaps whomever the creator of us was/is developed some kind of map on which a constellation of smaller destined souls were drawn and connected? Or do you believe that, yes the connection may be there, but one must work at continuing that bond, one must nurture it as one would a small plant? ‘Tis just something to think about. Here I go with the philosophical stuff. Perhaps this excerpt will give you a greater understanding of why we should cherish such small gifts such as friendship, peace, love, laughter. I struggle to come to terms with those who don’t; with those who take friendships for granted, who do not see that real and true friends are imperative.

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association. Although one can evaluate the type and intimacy of each friendship, friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum. Sympathy, empathy, the desire to look out for the other’s best interests are a few attributes one can associate with the value of friendship. Honesty, trust and RECIPROCATION are a few of the more important.

There are times when I look around me, and from my perspective, I see the inner workings of say, for example, a crowd of friends at a restaurant table. Obviously, one cannot say exactly what is what to a tee when just observing, but from the outside, one can read the gestures, facial expressions etc. Now, I do not consider myself to be as adept as that old dude from Lie To Me at reading people, but I like to play pretend every now and then. (Tell me you haven’t learnt anything from that program.)

I see one-sided friendships, where reciprocation is nowhere to be seen, long gone with the time that has flown since the friendship was real. I see people making the effort where others choose just to BE:- Those ‘friends’ who aren’t yet sure how much they’ll miss if they continue to believe that they will always have friends and do not feel the need to make any attempt at contact/conversation. I mean, I exert myself in ways I did not know possible, trying to people-please my way through life, while few of those around me do no such thing.

The Roman philosopher Cicero believed that in order to have a true friendship with someone, one must have complete honesty, truth, and trust. He also thought that friends would do things for each other without expectation of repayment. It is hard to live by these words. We are all human and fuck up every now and then and in the process lose friendships and sight of what it is to be compassionate. The trick is to treat others as you would like to be treated (not to sound too cliché) and live life to its utmost potential.

I say in previous blogs that I believe 2011 to be a year of change and challenge and those who stand in the way will be left as casualties. Obviously, I do not mean that in an angry or war-driven manner, but I do believe that you are what you do; your actions mean the most. And if you have one or two of these so-called ‘friends’, it is my advice to sit each one down, discuss these friendships, and either bid each other bon voyage, or each agree to make effort one of your first priorities. I direct, reciprocation is key.

"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends." - Jacques Delille

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