Wednesday, December 15, 2010

So you wanna be a DJ?

As promised in the last post I present the loud, the filthy the one and only... DJ Mezzanine.

Bernard Knight is a close personal friend and has been involved in the music scene for more than 15 years, being involved in numerous genres of music from gospel to dubstep, his latest project as Mezzanine or M3zza9 is growing in leaps and bounds I managed to steal a few minutes of his time for you to get to know the man behind the filthy bass

What’s up Mr B thanks for your time.

What & who got you get involved in the music scene?

Hey what’s happening everyone? I can’t say exactly who it was that got me into music, but I reckon it was just something in the rhythm & groove. Had to be that ‘cause according to my mom I got my head stuck in a toy drum at like 18months old. They should’ve known then I’d end up a basshead.

What made you choose the stage name / alias Mezzanine and is there a reason behind it?

Yeah, if anyone knows what a mezzanine is you’d know it is often the space between 2 floors in a building, so the name came out of that concept. I always seem to be in limbo between two things, not a boy anymore, but not really sure if I’m a man, not white but not black either... even the music I’m currently playing is sort of the middle ground between hip-hop & electro... Also the mezzanine is usually where the important unseen things happen.

Do you have any influence in helping up and coming artist’s get their name’s out there?

Definitely. From a production point of view, I’m always keen with helping people get out there. People can contact me on email or Facebook if they wanna colab or learn, or even just get their track listened to & played on air. I predominantly produce hip-hop, but am dabbling in all sorts of stuff at the moment. I mean I produced a reggae-rock track for The little Kings that got played on 5FM. So, yeah definitely can also put people in touch with people who know people.

MuthaFm, Cape Town’s “underground” music station has signed you on to do The Flip Side on Monday evenings how did that project come to be?

Lol... The strangest thing is that I decided last year to put DJ’ing on hold to focus on production, as the DJ industry is really hard to get into an maintain. But along the way I have made a few good connections & gave the right people demos I guess. Also, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve been pushing my production under the name “mezzanine,” & I reckon the right people heard about it. The best thing to do if you’re trying to get noticed in the music industry is to keep busy in the industry.

What does the Future hold for you and MuthaFm?

Well, let’s just say the future is very promising. More than that I cannot give away right now, but something that is coming early next year is that we are going live, which is going to bring a whole new interactive aspect to the Mutha FM experience.

Having listened to your sets there is a strong local influence in your tunes are there any local artists you would like to collaborate with?

Yeah... Unfortunately too many to mention. I’m digging South African music at the moment. The world is looking & I think we’re getting better and better. Every new project that comes out has a better sounding end product. I would dig to do a track with Die Antwoord or Isaac Mutant (which may just be happening).

Do you have any side projects that you’re currently working on?

Yip. I’m currently in the process of starting a production & promotions company. Then also busy signing artists for my record label “Malignant Music.” Unfortunately there are only so many hours in a day.

Any suggestions for people wanting to start out in the music scene?

Keep on following your dream. Be patient but keep working. Keep busy. Don’t get dissuaded by disappointment & realise that this industry is full of haters. Most people that have really made it in the industry did it through HARD work. There are no shortcuts & easy breaks. At least if you don’t expect them, you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you get one.

How can people get in touch with you and keep up to date with your gigs?

Facebook Bernz Knight or email

Any last words?

Thanks for your time Ian, and hopefully catch all of you at Rock the River NYE, at the Berg River. (, and listen to my show Mondays 10pm-12am @

Thanks for your time bru, Good luck for your set at the Brass Bell this Friday!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Overwhelming bass lines & reverberant drum patterns

We talk about everything from drinks to tattoos to the occasional reminiscant look at the days when we were innocent, but now, my friends and avid readers (are you?), I’d like to take a look at this genre of electronic dance music, it being a relatively new playground popular. I’ve been educated that it originates from London, but can we really pin down the exact location some clever being (beings) put together these tightly coiled productions, with clipped samples and occasional lyrics?

Only problem, every 12 year old kid believes he is ‘underground’. Plus, have you seen people dance to this music? Sure you have. And because you don’t have the device that I have in my head that allows you to replay events in slow motion, you haven’t realised how fucking retarded people actually look when jamming. Yes, no one cares, ‘cause everyone’s drunk or on drugs, but indulge me, will you? Termed ‘skanking all over the place to filthy choons’, I’ll give you a brief (thank God) look at “how dubsteppers dance”.
The point is to loosen up, make yourself look as silly as possible, throw your limbs and head around a lot – to the beat – and make sure everyone sees how dumb you look doing that. People seem to use this ‘dance’ to show how ‘obviously oblivious’ they are to the judgement of others. OK, so i’m being judgmental.
People pretty much look like sugared up circus monkeys. I have been told, though, that the point is to have fun, be yourself and get your “skank” on. So I’ll stop my cynicism now.

And try to look like a retard as soon as possible at a party. Less serious now, you see?

General jittery, irregular rhythm tracks incorporate breakbeat or darker elements of drum and bass, to form dubstep. The term ‘dubstep’ was only really referenced in 2002, when it started becoming more distinct from other genres of music. This shows just how new/ up-and-coming this type of music is, and how quickly it has infected the creatures in my general group of mates. The year 2009 saw the dubstep sound gain further worldwide recognition, often through the incorporation of basics of the sound into other genres, in a manner similar to drum 'n bass.

Have a look here:

And here:

While you're at it: Monday nights:- “The Flipside”, hosted by Mezzanine

Many clubs in Cape Town and surrounds now play this music, in amongst playlists including tracks off the 5fm top 40, some trance (depending on location), and r&b. In fact, many dubstep tracks are remixes of popular radio anthems, ultimately incorporating a larger audience and introducing those who haven’t enjoyed drum 'n bass and similar genres of music before. This process is known as ‘dubstepifying’ - the act of remixing a song from a genre other than dubstep, thereby creating a dubstep tune.

Urbandictionary defines dubstep as ‘orgasmic vibrations’, ‘audio thunder’ and ‘the music that is created from transformers having sex’.

Comments made about this ‘scene’ – the ones beginning with “filthier than…”, or “dirtier than…”, are more than a little overboard. Too foul to be repeated on here. But if you feel the need, Google's your answer there.

OK, so I see that the art of dubstep dance is, in fact, an art. have a look at this (blurry) chick dance.


P.S Stay tuned for an exclusive interview with DJ Mezzanine in the next installment of the Chronicles

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Let Me Help You Be Drunk-Smart

"Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk."

I admit, I have been neglecting you, darling, and for that I apologise. Profusely, if you want. I have been RESEARCHING though, so I have been on my sabbatical, you see. I know, I know, recently this blog has made me look a little like an alcoholic. I AM NOT. Alcoholics are quitters. And besides, I don’t drink that much. Cough, cough. No, but really – among my friends I am known as the one who will remember the evening, as my mind doesn’t go to sleep as my friends’ do. I am a responsible drinker, you see. Thanks to my high tolerance and awesome memory. So, as I remember, and put in to practice the majority of the following theories/rules etc, I would like to share them with you, my little monsters, share with you the bountiful knowledge that I’ve accumulated on this sabbatical I’ve had. And hopefully, make up for my absence.

As I know you have missed me dearly.

Let’s get the ball rolling, shall we…

To Be Drunk: Having to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

Alcohol Intoxication (synonym for drunk, also known as inebriation) is a physiological state that occurs when a person has a high level of ethanol in their blood. Common symptoms of alcohol intoxication include slurred speech, euphoria, impaired balance, loss of muscle coordination (ataxia), flushed face, reddened eyes, reduced inhibition, and erratic behavior. Thank you, Wikipedia.

Shall we begin with some drinking faux pas/just-plain-funny-fuck-ups? I shan’t chew you out if it turns out you’ve been at the ass end of some of these…

Technology and booze:
I know someone who knows someone (how mysterious am I?) who was out with a friend who asked about a potential ‘squeeze’. Of course, after 25 beers, and the technology of today, one gets quite illustrative and this friend of a friend of a friend (or whatever the relation is) decided that Facebook would be a fun way to demonstrate in the form of a profile picture, what the topic of conversation looks like. Now FOR GOD’S SAKE, don’t try this at home. The name was typed in, and the picture didn’t pop up. In fact, nothing expected occurred. A few sips of a beer and a whinge about how long things take to load blah blah blah later, it came to the friends’ attention that in fact, the name of this person (who, might I add, had only been a recent addition to this friend of friend of friend’s love life) had been typed in to the status bar. Now we know this can be rectified pretty quickly, but, as drunk people do, drunkards involved panicked largely, embarrassed, and a good giggle was had.

Drunk Dialing:
Drunk dialing is a pop-culture term denoting an instance in which an intoxicated individual places phone calls that he or she would not likely place if sober. The term often refers to a lonely individual calling former or current love interests.
Drunk texting is a related phenomenon, and potentially more embarrassing for the sender because once the message is sent, it cannot be retrieved; the message will most likely be misspelled (due to being drunk), and it might be reviewed and shared among many.
Here are some of my personal guidelines for drunk dialing:
It's okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
If you're going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. E.g. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you."
Voicemails are always better. This way your friends can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, or even weeks to come.
Drunk texting is OK, but only if you're prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you sober up.
It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they ever had, and everything they know they learned from you. This way you can all sleep well at night.
You can also call this same ex and let them know, that you know, that they still love you. Then explain that I would still love me too!
It's always a good idea to sing on someone's answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
Now, people, although it is a common phenomenon, the act of calling someone whilst being intoxicated is VERY controversial. These calls are usually made to someone of the opposite sex or a relative. And can generally result in break ups, make ups or throwing up.

Liquid-in-Nose Laughter:
This is the result of cracking someone up while they are in the process of swallowing or taking a sip of alcohol. Some of us are better at it than others; some people never suffer from this occurrence.

Scientists have proven that this syndrome is real. Other people do look more attractive to us after a few drinks. To the extreme, one's consumption of alcohol makes physically unattractive persons appear beautiful; summed up by the phrase, "there are no ugly women at closing time". This alcohol induced condition of the eyes will usually have you waking up next to someone who is a few times larger than the night before, a lot less pretty, and, unfortunately, naked, having you wonder why/how you got here and of course, how the fuck am I gonna get outta here in the next 10 seconds?

Afterthought: "Drunk chicks think I'm hot."

Designated Drunk Driver:
The guy with the best motor-skills and coordination under the influence of a lot of alcohol out of all the dudes you hang out with. You depend on this guy to drive you home when all of you are wasted and you trust him with your life. He should be able to take like 20 brews and still drive you back to base without a fatal accident or getting pulled over.

"Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink."

Ok, no, I don’t condone the idea of driving while under the influence at all, not only because a night in jail is at the top of my [DON’T-EVER-WANT]TO-DO list, but also because it is dangerous and could be detrimental. It’s an amusing theory though; we all know it has happened to us once or twice – where we’ve had to resort to the DDD rule.

Let me get smart on your ass right now, though, and give you some funny drinking rules that, more importantly than being hilarious, are sharp.

  • If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar - preferably during happy hour.

  • Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

  • If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

  • After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

  • If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

  • Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."

  • If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

Have fun, kids. Go kick some ass.
P.S. "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."